WINNING/LOSING ATTITUDEs!

Striking Differences Between Winners and Losers

---In my quest to post things that may be found useful in one's journey of self-improvement, I found a list of 33 traits that are shared by winners and losers. I am NOT calling anyone names through this, this is what I do. Ever since I discovered that one could actually improve and make his life better...I have been at this. I am sure that being born as I was (missing fingers, etc.,) has much to do with my venture into this career...if you will.

Winners Losers

1 Winners focus on solutions. Losers focus on problems.

2 Winners take responsibility. Losers blame others.

3 Winners find opportunities in crisis. Losers complain about crisis.

4 Winners enjoy being in the present and learn from the past. Losers live in the past.

5 Winners make commitment and keep them no matter what. Losers make promises that they always break.

6 Winners think about how they can achieve. Losers give excuses.

7 Winners make personal development a priority. Losers neglect personal development.

8 Winners face their fear, accept it and take the leap. Losers dwell in their fear.

9 Winners constantly expand their comfort zone. Losers stay in their comfort zone.

10 Winners take action consistently. Losers refrain from taking action and lack consistency.

11 Winners take failure in their stride and learn from them. Losers fear failure and avoid them at all cost.

DIFFERENCEs -

Winner's and Loser's

Second Installment

12 Winners try different strategies when they are not getting the results they want. Losers do the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

13 Winners set goals. Losers lack goals.

14 Winners plan. Losers hate having a plan.

15 Winners believe there are always things to be learn. Losers consider themselves as an expert even though they know little.

16 Winners are humble. Losers are egoistic.

17 Winners continue to hone their skill every other day without fail. Losers make little effort in honing their skill.

18 Winners work hard. Losers avoid work.

19 Winners give their best for the things that they decide to do. Losers work half heartedly in everything that they do.

20 Winners are persistent and will do whatever it takes (ethical means) to achieve their goal. Losers give up when obstacles pop up.

21 Winners manage their time well and indulge in high value activities that will bring them closer to their goals. Losers lack time management skills and indulge in time wasting activities like playing games and watching re runs for the umpteen time.

22 Winners dream in the day. Losers dream in bed.

Striking Differences Between Winners and Losers

23 Winners think about possibilities. Losers focus on obstacles that will stop them from achieving.

24 Winners are certain. Losers doubt.

25 Winners control their own destiny. Losers leave everything to their fate.

26 Winners give more than they take. Losers take more than they give.

27 Winners think whether the crowd is going in the right direction. If not, he will walk the other direction. Losers follow the crowd.

28 Winners think and lead. Losers refuse to think so they follow.

29 Winners listen. Losers fight for every chance to talk.

30 Winners always find a better way to do things. Losers stick to one way of doing things.

31 Winners spend money in seminars and classes to improve themselves. Losers think that spending money on seminars and classes is a waste of money and they prefer to buy toys that gives them instant gratification.

32 Winners help others to win. Losers refuse to help and think only about their own benefit.

33 Winners find like minded people like themselves that can bring them to greater height. Losers don't.

Final Installment of three.

The RIGHT ATTITUDE LOWERs STRESS!

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

WILL THE ''REAL'' F-word...PLEASE, STAND-UP!

Will The ''REAL''

F-word...Please, Stand Up.

CLICK TO ENLARGE

---From the standpoint of behaviors, it makes sense that I would choose FRUSTRATION as my F-word of choice. I think I have made a case for it, and since we ALL seem to be flirting with being frustrated, it seems a viable choice.

---We, also, have FASCISM, to be part of the mix. If we take it broadly, we can define it as imposing our will on others. My way or the highway, comes to mind. The dictator, itself, could be the idea that things have to be done in a certain way...with some kind of violent repercussion, for those who don't cut it.

---The Catholic religion was taught that way to me...with Hell always hanging in the balance. I could ''earn,'' an eternity in Hell, for the slightest infraction. It was ALL so unreasonable. Fascism fits in here, somewhere. The misunderstanding of Love, has made God, Jesus and the Pope out to be dictators...with NO room for development. [Some of the popes, actually, acted the part, and greatly promoted the idea that God and Jesus were dictators, first. They never actually said that God, etc., were dictators, they just portrayed, taught and, I would say, believed this, themselves.] That is what happens to those who don't really understand LOVE. Everything tends to be FEAR BASED. That is when ALL the rules + policies...come out.

---I, myself, do not see life this way. I had to break my ties with the church to find out who I am...and to see what Jesus, et. al., were talking about, throughout the ages. I found that if one truly finds what LOVE is, himself, then he/she finds that many other interpretations are NOT necessary. BE LOVING + KIND. It is still the finest thing around.

---The truth, then, is NOT so complicated. In this way, we can see that the way Catholicism was taught to me, makes it to be another Fascism...and makes Fascism another F-word, I have had to deal with. The dictatorship of thought that I had to deal with, has created much of my FRUSTRATION. Eliminating one has eliminated the other. Take Care.

A POSITIVE DEFINITION OF BADASS!

Badass - VERY POSITIVE: AUTHENTIC!

THIS MAY BE VERY EYE-OPENING TO SOME OF US.  IT MEANs TO BE OUR AUTHENTIC-SELVEs! 

A badass isn't someone who wears ripped leather jackets, a badass isn't someone who breaks stuff to look tough, and a badass isn't someone who fights for the fun of fighting. That's the definition of a poser. Being a badass is completely different. Don't confuse the two terms.

Unspoken Rules of Being Badass: 
1. First rule of being a badass. A badass does not talk about being a badass. Period.

2. Second rule of being a badass, a badass does not try to be a badass or look tough. A badass simply is a badass.

3. A badass stays true to themselves, always. This means being themselves for themselves, and not being fake to impress others.

4. A badass does not give up. Badasses will always push themselves for the better, no matter how hard it gets.

5. A badass is not a jerk. A badass does not prey on the weak, and shows kindness in return to those who are kind.

6. A badass knows his/her limits. Don't be stupid, you're not Superman, you'll die if you jump off a building.

7. A badass does not make enemies or go looking for fights. They do not fight fights that aren't worth fighting either.

Any breaking of these rules is grounds revoking of the status of being a badass. If this happens, a badass must once again prove they are worthy of being badass by following the rules. A badass can only be determined by the opinions of others

ARE ALPHA MALEs MORE ATTRACTIVE?

ARE ALPHA MALEs MORE ATTRACTIVE? - (CLICK)

This is NOT a 'YES or NO' QUESTION!

---I was very intrigued by statements made by our friend Nicole Emma in her TEDtalk about males. It is posted below if one wants to listen to it again.

NICOLE EMMA - TEDtalk

GROWING MACHO MEN

---I was listening to a woman speaking on a TEDtalk. She said something I found interesting. The very way that we treat little boys growing up in our society is to ‘’man up, toughen up, don’t be a sissy, real men don’t cry, etc.’’ We teach them that it is NOT alright for a male to cry…to have feelings, to NOT be tough or to make mistakes. If the feeling to cry comes to him, to be a man, he must learn to suppress that feeling and sublimate the feeling into a not crying situation. She said that this statement, this dynamic, is directly responsible for the violence that we are facing in our communities.

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---I am very interested in what she is saying. It supports much of what we have been talking about. There was a saying that she used that I never heard before. She heard a former NFL player use this expression. ‘’Boys who can't cry, shoot bullets.’’

---We certainly can see that one can’t get his needs met if he keeps them so hidden.

We have to get our music out while it is still music.

1.     People need connection with one another.

2.     We are all designed to find our tribe.

3.     We all need one person who sees who we are…and loves us UNCONDITIONALLY.

4.     Some men believe their manhood or value is in their muscles, money or mojo.

5.     Some men wear a mask (not themselves) to protect themselves from shaming or criticism usually from other men.

---Please listen to video yourself BELOW. She makes a lot of sense.

I

NICOLE EMMA

PSYCHOLOGY 101 - HUMAN NEEDs

PSYCHOLOGY - HUMAN NEEDs

1.     HUMAN NEEDs (MASLOW HIERARCHY of NEEDs) – Being Appreciated, Being Accepted, Being Understood, Being Loved, Being Valued, Being Treated Kindly, Being Supported, Being Cared For, etc. These are the very needs that we ALL have...including YOU + ME.

2.     WEST SIDE STORY (Officer Krupke) – Deprived and Depraved. If one is DEPRIVED of his needs being met…he acts DEPRAVED (negative in some way.) Argumentative to Violent! Nip it in the bud.

3.     The more deprived that one is in getting his/her HUMAN NEEDs met, the more depraved (negative) he/she will act. 

4.     The less deprived that one is in getting his/her HUMAN NEEDs met, the less depraved (negative) he/she will act. 

5.     All needs that someone may have can be traced back (root-cause) to his need for love and understanding, etc. ‘’Pay ATTENTION to me. Could be his/her need to be loved and accepted.’’

MEET PEOPLE'S NEEDs

ABE MASLOW - HUMAN NEEDs

 The HUMAN NEEDs of Which People are DEPRIVED!

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---I don’t think folks realize the importance of being appreciated, being valued, loved, supported, cared for, etc. Folks don’t realize that a life without these key elements is like building a structure or a bridge with shoddy material and/or workmanship that won’t be able to withstand the weight and endurance the structure itself will go through during its’ existence. Eventually, it will come crashing down around itself.

---If we try to build a HUMAN life with shoddy materials and workmanship (the key elements that we spoke of in the last paragraph,) we, also, will be faced with a being who is shattered before his time unable to withstand the hurdles and pitfalls that come his/her way.

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---The recipe of life has a healthy portion of the ingredients of love, support, being valued and being appreciated in it. There is NO scrimping on the materials (ingredients) necessary to create a good solid individual able to withstand all that life throws at him or her. Each time he/she interacts with love, being valued and being appreciated…the foundation ITSELF is strengthened and becomes more solid and stronger than it once was.

---Human needs are love, support, being valued and being appreciated. Self-knowledge, self-worth, self-esteem fit in there somewhere, also. If you treat everyone with KINDNESS all-the-time, then I'm sure that you do your part. BUT...herein lies the big rub - If these needs are not met convincingly, then we are usually faced with an individual who is seeking to get these needs met. He seems almost consumed with these needs. Addiction is NOT lurking too far away. When the HUMAN NEEDs are met, he then is ready to move up along Abraham Maslow's pyramid. Be Kind!.

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

WHAT IS MEANT?

''We ALL Love One Another; We're Just Working Out The Details''

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---What do I mean when I say this? As a matter of fact I tell folks that this is my personal philosophy. It seems that it isn't as obvious to others as I thought.

---We must break it down a bit, first. We ALL love one another. That in itself seems ludicrous. I can give a list of people that I don't love...or CAN I? Let's go into this slowly. People usually give me a quick list of different world leaders who were the cause of much suffering, death + destruction. How can I possibly love them. They can be outraged at me for even suggesting that.

---I have to break it down a bit further. LOVE is treated as a FACT; NOT a FEELING! LOVE exists whether we feel it or not. Whether anyone feels it or not. LOVE is always present...potentially. To test this, be truly loving and kind in a situation and watch people respond to that. Or, when there is a cut or broken bone and it's allowed to heal after being set properly, it will. Doesn't the way we feel about how folks generally BEHAVE govern how we feel about the people themselves. We'd feel differently if instead of doing things that promote suffering, death and destruction...people fed all the folks that are hungry AND helped people get things they need while footing the bill in most cases. If folks behaved in a way that spread kindness and happiness, we would think very differently about things.  Well, that really is potentially there all-the-time! We just have to act on it.

---Unfortunately, most people BEHAVE in a way that reflects their ATTITUDE and hence, their VALUES - which then tend toward being self-oriented and greedy. People who act this way tend to be fearful of NOT having enough for themselves - hence are self-oriented and greedy. If they were able to see beyond their fears, they would see that having values of being kind to one another and brother + sister helping each other, because we are all in this together...gets more done and hence provides enough for all. Those crying out, ''what about me?'' haven't learned to be team players...yet! BUT, THEY CAN!

---A big problem that I see is this; folks for the most part are waiting to be loved and are not loving. They may think that they are, but self-concern and greed with saving face, runs the show. They are, usually, busy TRYING to get what they think their needs + preferences are, met. But, their method really is, usually self-concern and greed. This is ALL based on FEAR!

PEOPLE TEND TO USE A BACKWARDS APPROACH (THAT DOESN'T WORK):

---Because of this backwards approach (if you will,) folks end up waiting to be loved instead of being loving. And, when they do something loving or kind, they have some type of self-concern tied to it. I see this as being the real problem...but, that is, then, hence its solution.

---We must be TRULY loving for this process to work. If we wait around to be loved, FIRST and are NOT being loving – we then have the process backwards. If we wait to feel love first, we just MAY wait forever (a long, long time.) You will wait as long as it takes for you to learn that it works the other way. AND...THAT IS WHAT MOST OF US ARE DOING!

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---''To FEEL LOVE, YOU MUST BE LOVING.'' The other way doesn't work. It is like waiting to be perfect before you act. It is one thing to get your act together, but waiting to be perfect FIRST will not work. Too many semantics and interpretations to concern yourself with before you can declare that that has indeed happened AND you are now perfect. (Ask your mother, wife or sister to weigh-in on the subject...if you are getting too full of yourself.) Husbands, in general, if smart...won't answer that or just will not truthfully know what you're talking about.

---The second half of that statement - working out the details...comes into play in the fact that many, many have still got it BACKWARDs and COMPLAIN  so much and so loudly and wonder why it doesn't work? Some folks have a lot invested in its being the other (wrong) way AND they belligerently insist that it does indeed work the other (wrong) way...even when they may NOT realize what it is that they are really doing. 

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---Folks go to war over the fact that they have this backwards...instead of simply realizing that they must love first. Many relationships go sour, because of faulty logic. A lot of time is spent on trying to see eye-to-eye before love is even considered. Then the next thing you know it becomes an eye-for-an-eye! That, once again is CONDITIONAL LOVE and NOT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Instead of being loving...you love only those that see things as you do. The DETAILS are KILLING US in this way.

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

Love has to be treated as a FACT...NOT JUST A FEELING. Act accordingly. 

Be Well.

The saying now changes to:
''We ALL Love One Another; we are simply + gently working out the details''

Jim Carrey Leaves the Audience SPEECHLESS | One of the Best Motivational...

GREAT!

A VERSION of ROCK BOTTOM!

A VERSION of ROCK BOTTOM

---An addiction term that means one has lost most of what he has. And, he is, probably, using more of the substance that he has gotten him/herself addicted to. And, there is a good chance that the addiction will probably cause his/her death. It is the epitome of a ‘damned if you do and damned if you don’t’ situation. One is nearing the point of either cleaning up the act or cashing it in. Something, usually, has to be done at this point.

---A Rock Bottom that I relate to is the one where one realizes that one is helpless to make any positive gain to the dilemma that one is involved with. And, one is well aware that pursuing the avenue one is on just makes things worse. All one can do is to either increase the amount of addictive substance to further pursue the elusory idea that using more of the substance will bring relief while in all actuality it is working to make things more unbearable. Or, one can finally admit one needs help. When this choice is presented, let's hope that he chooses to get help. (We ALL need help, at times. Why we have made such a problem out of making mistakes and asking for help, I do NOT know. Do we try to fool others into thinking we're perfect? Are we so fragile that if we are seen imperfect - we can't stand it?) 

---This is Terry Becker Story all over again. In the story, Terry was ready to cash it in. A bedsore she had got so out of hand that it would have been deadly. It needed attention. Over time and with the treating of the condition right, the healing takes place. Because of the way the universe is setup, the viriditas works and wounds/cuts will heal if allowed. The choice to work with the healing instead of her living life making things worse and opposing the healing has made a big difference. Improvements are made and the problem is lessening. Things increasingly get better. Reaching a ROCK BOTTOM has turned a tide.

---Rock Bottom is usually the condition where choice has become very limited if it exists at all. There is very little foundation as one is spiraling and one is just usually hunting for the substance of his addiction to deal with the way his life has become. Ones life has come down to a certain hellishness that provides only short-term relief when a now much larger amount of the substance is needed, and...is scored. The substance runs his life and since one has burned most of the legal means to acquire money, out-and-out stealing has now become something new that he does. He is getting closer to living in ROCK BOTTOM and is beginning to realize that the shred of denial he is holding onto won't sustain his behavior any longer. 

---One has hit ROCK BOTTOM. We have now made the decision NOT to ANYMORE go along the route that only brings grief. One admits that he is helpless to the substance that he is using. Though the path is not always easy, it may get downright difficult. But, it pays dividends - eventually. You may have some really bad times in this and feel you can’t make it…but YOU CAN. One needs a better, more positive way of seeing the self. One begins to realize that he/she is good enough and can make it. Staying true to this newness is important + staying clean is especially important. These can be crucial times. Get HELP if it is needed. At present there is plenty of it. (The strange thing to all-of-this is that after all-is-said-and-done...now one can truly rebuild. It is a process, but could be one of the most real adventures that one has ever been on. Life has now taken on a new quality. It is possible to have an attitude to life and living that you never knew existed. A part of you that was unconscious has now burned away. One has a first-hand knowledge of if things don't kill you, they can serve to make you stronger.) Be Well.

WHY ARE WE SO PETTY?

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

SAVING THE WORLD IN TWENTY MINUTES

Saving the World in Twenty Minutes

I think all of us are hitting rock bottom in this whole affair—
I mean the bullying of Mother Nature, of course.
It was even on TV as I recall. You can’t fool
Mother Nature, but, of course, that didn’t stop us.
Nature has no rewards or punishments, just consequences.
What’s going on now is causing many of us to become very serious.
It’s difficult to be as frivolous as we once were.
These times don’t call for it.

I still maintain that being kinder to each other
and kind to the earth itself will turn it around completely.
Don’t deprive anyone of kindness.
We all need it. We really don’t know what others have gone through.
I know I said in 20 minutes,
but eight letters will do: k-i-n-d-n-e-s-s.


Paul Hendrickson

SMART REHABILITATION!

SMART REHABILITATION

 

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

    ---We think we made a viable case for NOT being DEPRIVED of the necessities of life – being valued, being appreciated, cared for, loved, etc. We know that people do far better in life when they get these needs met. When they are deprived of these fundamental human needs they end up being DEPRAVED (negative) in some way. We assume the physiological needs of food, clothing and shelter are being taken care of.

---When people feel depraved and negative inside, they try to change that feeling. They deal with this situation by involving themselves in something that serves to ease the distress that they are feeling. The only thing that makes a difference and will make things right is something that creates the love and appreciation, being valued, etc., that is needed. Only these things will serve to make the pain better...in the long run. If he/she hits on things that are needed, than a positive boost will be experienced. If he/she heads toward things that increases self-acceptance...than those things will keep him/her on track.

---If what is done runs away from facing the self then the negatives will be experienced. The negatives come into play when one runs from facing himself. He is now NOT getting his needs met.  The ADDICTION is being born at this point. It will be stopped when he/she faces him/herself. He will identify the need and he will meet it. We wish to rehabilitate the whole-person and not just the half-hearted, band aid on cancer rehab that we have been seeing. To rehab the whole person, we should increase his/her self-esteem, his/her self worth, etc. We have to help him/her find a good reason to say NO...and NOT become re-addicted. He/she has to be convinced that there is a good enough reason to say NO...so, he/she has NO need to run. It seems that people have to realize it is worth staying sober. It is better that they are NOT always under the influence.

---Facing up to the fact that I have one hand was the same thing for me. Believe me...if I could face things I didn't like about myself, you can do it TOO. As I said, ''it isn't necessarily going to be easy, but it is possible.'' And, it will be worth it.

---However, if an emptiness is there, then we still have a problem. There is something NOT being faced. He or she will feel a hole within that still needs to be filled. As we said, this emptiness can only be filled by the right stuff. The correct stuff that is necessary would be whatever makes him/her fulfilled that will have a long-term affect. It's important to be honest…otherwise the emptiness is still there and needs to be filled. For me it was my left-hand, but for someone else it, probably, is something else. What I did realize is that we all seem to have a negative attitude about something about ourselves that we are NOT cool with. Acceptance in this area would NOT be a bad thing and would open the door for getting the needs met.

CLICK THOUGHTOONs!

 ---When we are DEPRIVED of things that we need…that’s when the heartaches begin. We spend much of our time trying to do what is necessary to get these needs met. The more DEPRIVED we are is reflected in how DEPRAVED (NEGATIVE) we are feeling and acting. What I needed existed on the other side of the door. It became the Door of HONESTY. When I told others how I felt about my hand, etc., that is when I began filling in the emptiness about my own situation. I stopped DEPRIVING myself with this newly found honesty about the things that were real in my life and how I really felt. I began to accept myself allowing myself to experience many, more of the good things of life. To be loved, cared for, appreciated, valued, etc. As I said, if I can do it, you can do it.

---Anytime one is not being honest about himself and NOT learning to accept him or herself will still leave him/herself wanting and unfulfilled (DEPRIVED and EMPTY.) He/she will find that he will be making decisions that attempt to create situations that will try to get those needs met in order to feel fulfilled.

---SMART REHABILITATION happens when the patient  embodies the understanding that those experiences that he or she is feeling - valued, appreciated, loved, cared for, etc...are real. He or she is convinced that these NOW exist for him or her as they never did before. Things are different now. They are very real and this is now the way it is.  A complete 180 degree turn is NOT uncommon, eventually.

---SMART REHABILITATION works on helping the patient learn new techniques to feel more valued and appreciated. The patient is taught ways to make better decisions. The patient is encouraged to stand on his own. He or she is given new tools that help to bring clarity to his vision and see things clearly to be able to better negotiate his way through life. He is now assured enough so he/she can rely on him/herself to get what he/she needs. He now has the kind of tools to live a very satisfying non-addicted life. The sky really is the limit. Any limits have always been imposed by him or herself. Mediocrity is always a choice if that’s what is wanted. BUT, now It is NO LONGER something you’re required to settle for. Be Well.

WHEN THINGS ARE RIGHT...THE PATIENT FEELS WHOLE WITHOUT HIS ADDICTION. HE or SHE LEARNS THAT IT IS POSSIBLE TO ENJOY LIFE WITHOUT THE ADDICTION!

WHEN THE NEEDS OF THE PATIENT ARE MET, THEN HE DOES MUCH BETTER!


---This a draft. I reserve the right to make changes as I see fitting.